Dear Dad.
I miss you so much. Just the thought of you brings tears. I know that's not what you would want. Not what you want.
I still feel you around me, but it's just not the same. Every day something happens that I want to tell you about. I have a baby you'll never meet. Another girl. I'm sure you know that.
I wish I had more than intuition and feathers to go on.
There have been signs recently that I should start writing again. I want to but I don't know where to start. Write what? Write where? I don't know. I just don't know. Maybe this can be my beginning.
There is so much about you that I don't know. Will never know now. You had so many stories. Where did 'Simon Yates' come from? Why didn't you ever tell me the information to track down your medals? I'd love to do that.
I had two more tattoos done in your honour. I know you wouldn't approve. Mum definitely doesn't. I'm broken Dad. Broken inside and I don't know what's wrong - or how to fix me. I'm miserable and I don't know why. can you help? Flap your wings and make it all better? Please?
I hope you found that big black horse waiting for you. I hope you met up with old friends and family. I hope they welcomed you with open arms and a huge party. Because you deserve it Dad. You definitely did not deserve what happened to you.
I miss you. Every day. I miss you. I just want to talk to you. Ask questions. Listen to your voice. Hear you sing. Hold your hand. No miracles. Just the small stuff.
I'm drowning Dad. Please save me. Please save me. I have no right to ask. I know I don't. Especially when I couldn't keep you out of a home. I promised you that and I couldn't keep it. I'm so sorry.
Take care of Bongo for me.
Love you always.
